happy people and mad dogs

"Money loves happy people," said Rev. Ike a couple of decades ago and he was damn right. Happy individuals will make different financial decisions than depressed or desperate people. It's pretty obvious, isn't it?

Now, if you are one of those who believe you won't be happy until you'll get more money, you are doomed and I can promise you won't be happy with or without the additional funds you deem necessary for your emotional paradise. In that case you are equally screwed as are people who believe children are supposed to make their parents happy. Holding your kids responsible for your happiness is perhaps the worst kind of permanent child abuse.

Your children cannot and will not make you happy. You will experience delightful times with them as well as terrifying moments and sad days. But burdening your offspring with the impossibly heavy load of "owing you" happiness is cruel, and making your kids feel guilty for your emotional disposition doesn't speak for you. Fortunately you have never done that. It's your job to be happy, and as a happy person you will be better equipped to meet challenges of all sorts, including a series of awkward situations your children will present to you.

Expecting more money to provide you with a happier future is equally insane. No matter how wealthy or how poor you think you are, you will always be surprised by unforeseen situations. You will see sad days in connection with monetary events, you will be angry, frustrated, and you may live through moments of severe depression, self-doubt, and regret. Excitement, hope, elation, and even love will be part of your relationship with money also. But money is not the cause of your experiences.

Is there a parallel universe? Absolutely!

Our thoughts and feelings occur PARALLEL to everything else. Emotional up and down swings happen and they are not dependent on your current bank balance, number of children, color and make of your cars, horsepower of your damn speed boat, or boom-and-bust cycles of our economy (be they "natural" or artificially induced).

Things are great AND we are feeling fabulous. We are well off AND we can feel like crap. Times are horrendous AND we are scared of the future. Vast portions of the economy are in the crapper WHILE we are feeling upbeat, adventurous, and happy. Stuff happens WHILE we feel things, pleasant or not so pleasant. One does not happen because of the other.

The childish idea that once the flaws of our world are fixed life will be fantastic, is dangerous and worse: it deprives us of happiness for the most part of our lives because we are constantly in the waiting loop for an improved "thereafter" of some sort. As babies we learned that factual or perceived misery may be helpful to gather attention. Trust me, the same strategy looks rather silly when applied by adults. And it is insufficient. Looking pitiful serves no purpose and it is without benefit. Nothing and nobody can help us attain happiness. As with death and taxes, we are on our own.

Thoughts and feelings happen parallel to actual events. No causality here. I agree, at times that may be a tough one to swallow. But it is helpful. Here is how:

You get to choose the set of background feelings you want to make money with!

A sunny disposition is your favorite temperamental makeup? Alright then, what do you enjoy doing when you are in a great mood? Grab a piece of paper--I mean, really--and scribble down a dozen adhoc ideas how you could make money with that, in simple ways and SOON.

Our society seems to be desperate for more jobs. We are a funny species, aren't we? We hate jobs but we are crybabies, and therefore we are demanding more jobs we can bitch about. Sooner or later we may get what we hate so passionately, more jobs, but for now let's just concentrate on making an additional dollar. With or without a recession, did you know that it is easier to make some extra money than to land a job?

The amazing thing is you can make a buck with happiness as an underlying theme, but you don't have to. If you are rather angry, fearful, or mad as hell it works equally well.

You will hate me for this: issues that "make" you mad are NOT the real cause of the way you feel. It's the other way around. More or less consciously, you pick 'mad' as your entertainment of the moment and all your senses go on a witch hunt until you find a subject you can feel mad about. Bingo! Now that you have found a target, you are pulling the trigger over and over again, shooting off one salvo of nasty thoughts after the other.

It doesn't help, as we have experienced repeatedly. Projecting responsibility onto a scape goat may obscure reality for awhile but the responsibility remains ours. When I am mad it is nobody else's business. Nobody "did that to" me. And, talking of business, you can exploit being "mad as a dog" for fun and profit as easily as you can make money while being content and happy.

What drives you up the wall? What subject enrages you? What pisses you off? Huh!

Yep, none of these issues "do that to" you or cause the way you feel. Rather, your feelings accompany issues you concentrate on. They move along on parallel paths. They are not linked. I am terribly redundant, I know, but it cannot be said often enough. Why? Because disconnecting your experience of the world from the perceived cause of your experience ends your status of being a victim once and for all. Abandonment of causality in this regard functions as the ultimate empowerment.

Now you may use your being mad as a tool--or as underlying mood of your choice--to make money as well. Again, what serves you best as a trigger to being intensely upset? Jot down a dozen ways to turn it into extra cash. Impossible? C'mon, this is how trial lawyers discovered the cornucopia of class action lawsuits. Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) thrive on the fund raising power of anger. And so can you.

Under one condition: you can turn happiness, hatred, madness, or--if you must--love into a business venture and cash ONLY if you own the feeling. If the cause or the source is outside of you, forget it. When you are causing and generating the thought or the feeling at will, you are controlling the consistency of your business operation. If you don't own the feeling, you are subject to the fickleness of love, hatred, or happiness and you cannot afford that.

Further, if you are the one who chooses "being mad" as foundation for your business, you can enjoy what you are doing just as much as those who want to do what they love. When you own your hatred, you can do what you hate and you will discover quickly how much you love hating it. Love is an umbrella emotion: do what you love, do what you hate, or anything in between--you can love it all.

Takes balls, though.

Egbert Sukop


P.S.: Have you read my new book yet? No? Geez. You owe it to yourself. Employed or self-employed, we are all doing a job of some sort. Of course, you don't "hate" everything you do! You probably like your job but the circumstances or your colleagues are not as pleasant as they should be.

Positive thinking is maxed out. By now, you have noticed that you can't improve the messed up elements of your work conditions via thinking or wishing. Nothing against 'The Secret' but you have experienced the limits of happiness, or have you not?

Well, there are alternatives. Go and pick up your copy of 'How to Better Hate Your Job' today. If that link refuses to work for you, go to www.amazon.com and use ISBN 978-0-578-00314-6

Should you get lost, visit my website www.moneybymistake.com and you'll know what to do next.