Taking credit for winning and blaming ourselves for losing are sure signs of lacking self-confidence. When we use a winning incident to build ourselves up and we tear ourselves down because of a loss, our sense of reality is impaired.
Both winning and losing occur naturally in everybody's life. Often it is a matter of perspective, whether we have won or lost. While we are winning at the stock market, somebody else loses. In this case, losing and winning happen simultaneously. Pretty stupid if the “winner” takes credit for the fortunate turn out and the “loser” blames herself for the loss. The following day—at times just minutes later—the roles may be reversed. Let's say winning and losing “happen” if you are an active person, and you cannot control any particular outcome beyond a certain degree. Larry Ellison, the CEO of Oracle, wins or loses sums of a billion dollars or two on an average trading day. I'm sure he likes winning better, yet I don't believe one or the other affects is self-confidence or his decision-making much.
Of course, you must have an eye on the pulse of the markets. But you are doomed if you take factually and emotionally credit for winning situations and if you beat yourself or your people into the ground because of a loss.
If—and only IF—you are active and you try new things and new approaches, will you experience wins and losses. The less you fear losses, the better. Maybe 95% of your ideas will bomb and only 5% have a chance to survive. Realistically, only one or two percent of your attempts are truly grand and only 1% may thrive. That will be plenty for you to call yourself successful and to live happily ever after.
If you don't try anything or you think it got to be sufficient to shoot off three or even ten ideas, you are trying to found your confidence on some quick winning experiences. Confidence based on winning is deceptive and short-lived. It won't work for you, and unless you're the luckiest dumbass in your town, a dozen ideas will just sink your ship. You must produce a hundred ideas at least, and another hundred, and then some to taste continued success. You need to get excited about losing to make it somewhere, like Mister Lightbulb Edison himself.
Any idiot can win with confidence. Losing with confidence gets you places. Yes dear, be happy when you are winning AND when you are losing!
Egbert
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
what scares you the most?
"What scares you the most? What do you run up against when you entertain the thought of creating a happier work life? What circumstance, belief or fear has caused you to settle for less than you could enjoy?" ... asks my friend Tom on his blog (http://www.delightfulwork.com/)
A legitimate question!
Who of us would actually get a job if it wasn't for the demons we'd have to face while pursuing bliss and happiness? We do what we don't want to do because we think we have to. Gullible creatures we are, we believe misery is the currency to pay rent or to make our mortgage payments with. No self-torture, no food on the table. We think S/M in bed is crazy but a sado-masochistic work life is normal.
We believe in science, we believe in higher education, and we believe in our favorite myths. The idea that suffering is the best way to make money is one of those myths. And we don't use precious cubicle time to make other people's lives easier, do we? Oh no, if we have to experience pain, so will "they". And we distribute pain with the best intentions: "no pain, no gain." Myth number two. The more I hurt you, the better it'll be for you! We even make sure our children will have plenty of pain in their lives, 'cause we desire for them to have plenty of gain, eventually. Since we wish for our children to gain more than we ever have, they will--nolens volens--also have to put up with more pain from us. They may not appreciate it now, but increasing pain in their lives prepares them for a hard reality and anyway, it's how we express our deepest love for them. Yes, we are good people.
Good God, the stinking bladder of your pooch is smarter than that! Back to Tom and his idea of promoting luscious and thrilling work. Here are some thoughts his unusual yet most important questions tickled out of me:
“Luscious and thrilling work?”
Tom, are you nuts? That's not exactly what God cursed Adam with when he kicked his sorry apple noshing ass out of paradise: “Because you listened to your wife: Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food.” --Genesis 3, 17-19
Thanks! Yeah, thank you so much! Leading a messed up work life like good ol' doormat Adam and Sisyphus is alright if you listen to your wife, to your loving husband, to cousin Clara, or to your know-it-all brother-in-law Hugo. If you don't listen to anybody but to your own gut, you do have a choice: painful toil or rather something more delightful—what's it going to be?
'Doing what I want to do' is the most scary enterprise of all because it's so utterly selfish. Where is the sacrifice in that? Exactly: sacrifice is unnecessary humbug! Unless you find it important to please people, that is. People pleasing and being happy exclude each other. Worse: while we pretend to be so ridiculously selfless, the people we're trying to suck up to don't give a rat's behind about us, about the stuff we do, or about our noble and idiotic self-deprivation.
Nobody cares about what you do. Nobody cares how much you suffer. Nobody cares if you are happy. Do you care? We are quick to perform worthless chores but it takes the utmost discipline for most of us to do what we want to do. Before we follow up on a joyful idea we clean the toilet bowl first. Insane! Trust me, dull diligence doesn't provide valuable service to your community.
“Giving back to the community” with sacrifice and harrowing labor is the idea of fools for fools. When you're actively busy doing what you really want to do, you are at your best. And when you are at your best, your family, your clientele, and your community get the best out of you. Truth is, there is hardly anything more selfless than the most selfish thing you can think of doing. Think Tiger Woods.
Last but not least, when we're limiting joy in life our income is likely to be limited also. Being insanely happy has no limits, and money based on happiness has more potential than our in-laws can stomach.
Good luck, Tom! You're doing the finest thing you can possibly do for an individual.
Egbert
A legitimate question!
Who of us would actually get a job if it wasn't for the demons we'd have to face while pursuing bliss and happiness? We do what we don't want to do because we think we have to. Gullible creatures we are, we believe misery is the currency to pay rent or to make our mortgage payments with. No self-torture, no food on the table. We think S/M in bed is crazy but a sado-masochistic work life is normal.
We believe in science, we believe in higher education, and we believe in our favorite myths. The idea that suffering is the best way to make money is one of those myths. And we don't use precious cubicle time to make other people's lives easier, do we? Oh no, if we have to experience pain, so will "they". And we distribute pain with the best intentions: "no pain, no gain." Myth number two. The more I hurt you, the better it'll be for you! We even make sure our children will have plenty of pain in their lives, 'cause we desire for them to have plenty of gain, eventually. Since we wish for our children to gain more than we ever have, they will--nolens volens--also have to put up with more pain from us. They may not appreciate it now, but increasing pain in their lives prepares them for a hard reality and anyway, it's how we express our deepest love for them. Yes, we are good people.
Good God, the stinking bladder of your pooch is smarter than that! Back to Tom and his idea of promoting luscious and thrilling work. Here are some thoughts his unusual yet most important questions tickled out of me:
“Luscious and thrilling work?”
Tom, are you nuts? That's not exactly what God cursed Adam with when he kicked his sorry apple noshing ass out of paradise: “Because you listened to your wife: Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food.” --Genesis 3, 17-19
Thanks! Yeah, thank you so much! Leading a messed up work life like good ol' doormat Adam and Sisyphus is alright if you listen to your wife, to your loving husband, to cousin Clara, or to your know-it-all brother-in-law Hugo. If you don't listen to anybody but to your own gut, you do have a choice: painful toil or rather something more delightful—what's it going to be?
'Doing what I want to do' is the most scary enterprise of all because it's so utterly selfish. Where is the sacrifice in that? Exactly: sacrifice is unnecessary humbug! Unless you find it important to please people, that is. People pleasing and being happy exclude each other. Worse: while we pretend to be so ridiculously selfless, the people we're trying to suck up to don't give a rat's behind about us, about the stuff we do, or about our noble and idiotic self-deprivation.
Nobody cares about what you do. Nobody cares how much you suffer. Nobody cares if you are happy. Do you care? We are quick to perform worthless chores but it takes the utmost discipline for most of us to do what we want to do. Before we follow up on a joyful idea we clean the toilet bowl first. Insane! Trust me, dull diligence doesn't provide valuable service to your community.
“Giving back to the community” with sacrifice and harrowing labor is the idea of fools for fools. When you're actively busy doing what you really want to do, you are at your best. And when you are at your best, your family, your clientele, and your community get the best out of you. Truth is, there is hardly anything more selfless than the most selfish thing you can think of doing. Think Tiger Woods.
Last but not least, when we're limiting joy in life our income is likely to be limited also. Being insanely happy has no limits, and money based on happiness has more potential than our in-laws can stomach.
Good luck, Tom! You're doing the finest thing you can possibly do for an individual.
Egbert
Sunday, June 24, 2007
what do you want?
A friend asked me for advice.
Here's my—slightly altered—response. This gentleman's favorite activity happens to be watch repair. It doesn't matter. Yours will be something else, but my answer would be the same had you asked me similar questions. Throughout my material and throughout the years, I have made sure to be redundant about the fact that I cannot and will not give advice. Please DO NOT take my "answer" as advice. I am confident you will take full responsibility for all actions you take--and for the ones you won't take. In other words, what you do in the future is based on your decisions, of course, and not on my stuff.
"What do you tell a person who KNOWS what needs to be done and just won't do it?"
Nothing.
We need to figure out our individual "moving speed", and I vehemently disagree with you that you have "wasted the first 34 years of [your] life." Your first 34 years were important. Maybe not to get things done, but that won't count in the end anyway. You needed to discover what you don't want and apparently you found out what you do want: watch repair. Your last 34 years were extremely valuable, as most people NEVER find out what they want. They allow themselves to be distracted their entire lives by the garbage they don't want, like jobs for example. You are--as bleak as it may look at times--in a privileged position. You know what you want to do.
Do you, really?
I am playing the devil's advocate. So, forgive my nasty question. Here's what I mean: you are pissed off about not getting ahead with your dreams. THAT is the energy you need to utilize. You being upset or frustrated about your last 34 years is pure URGENCY for you to do what you haven't done. "Sometimes I wish I could just give up all emotions--like a Vulcan--and live my life as it is right now." Give up all emotions? No, USE them! Indeed, you are sitting on a Volcano. We all do. You want to waste the steam, the pressure, and curl up in a corner and die? Tap the immense power of YOUR Volcano and funnel it into what you want to DO. If it's watch repair, fine. If you find out it's not at all watches in a couple of weeks, that's alright also. It got to be something that can handle the unbearable pressure and urgency you will be doing things with from now on. You hear me?
URGENCY!
Your emotions aren't to be neglected nor thrown away for nothing: You must translate your emotional Volcano into the urgency you are longing for, and you will begin doing a bunch of things you haven't done yet.
"Will I become one of those old people living in poverty? These are my fears. "The fear of living in poverty may never leave you: Plenty of millionaires are scared throughout their entire lives that they may end up dying in poverty. Well, lots of people do die poor, but you better get used to the fact that some of your idiosyncrasies or quirks maybe part of you and they won't go away no matter how much money you have and make. You can't wait until the fear--any fear or emotional condition--stops before you act. Neither can you make enough money, so that fears and emotions quit bugging you.
You "chose" to pursue watch repair. Bull! Maybe that is a great idea for a hobby, but it may not be what you really want to do. You need to find out. I don't "choose" to pick my nose. I pick it!
You say, "Everything I've ever done in my life, came back to wanting to collect watches. I realized last year that if watches are my love I might as well make that my career." "Wanting" to collect watches? Did you collect watches? And if collecting watches is your love that does NOT mean repairing them will be. "... I might as well ..." Forgive me, but that is the most lame excuse for "love" or for a professional choice I have ever heard. I am not surprised you don't start or you don't get further into it. I'm surprised you didn't fall asleep while writing your e-mail to me.
DO WHAT YOU CAN'T NOT DO.
Forget love (I want to do what I love to do). Yesterday, two murder cases made the headlines on yahoo news: Guy shoots his wife and his two children, and another guy butchers his pregnant girlfriend. And don't forget the preacher's wife blasting her sleeping husband in the back with a shotgun. Most murder victims have had a loving relationship with their killer. Marriage is supposed to end with death. Well, if all goes as desired, that is. “Until death do you apart”, remember? And lots of marriages begin with love. Love, my dear friend, is not at all free of risk.
And if you really love watch repair so much that you can't help but doing it against everybody's advice and better judgment, then you may be on the right track. May that lead to doom or to success, you shouldn't care. But that is not--as I understand--your relationship with watch repair, or is it? It's lukewarm, a typical relationship, like government employment, a slob job. It's predictable, boring, and predictably bad. And in your case even more costly than profitable.
What pisses you off so, that you can't stop thinking/talking/ranting about it for hours/days/years at a time? Love is heavily overrated! “Love what you do and the money will follow,” is so 20th century and utter nonsense. Wussy and--god forbid--pussy talk. Even if you do what you “love”, you'll always have to do plenty of things you hate ... preparing income taxes, for instance. “I want to do what I love,” makes me throw up.
Anger or frustration are fabulous money makers. Give your HATRED a try. For instance, Mr. Gillette was so pissed off about his clunky shaving equipment--he traveled as a salesman--that he invented a disposable shaver. He sold all of six or eight shavers in the first year. Not encouraging, but "his Volcano", the fire in his belly, didn't allow him to stop. History proved him right, as you know. More examples? MADD (mothers against drunk driving) begun with a pissed off and terribly wounded mother. I can't stand MADD's politics. Nevertheless, it exemplifies my point of starting something powerful with uncomfortable, so-called "negative", emotions. Cindy Sheehan: same thing. I don't like her and I do NOT endorse her nor her message, but that's how it can be done. PETA (people for the ethical treatment of animals), etc., etc..
Money: MAKE MONEY. I admire your wizardry of getting by on peanuts but man, start using that brilliant head of yours and make an extra $50 this upcoming week. When you can do that every week, raise it to $100 extra weekly. If you have no idea at all, sell something on ebay.com to supplement your income, but do shake up your tired wallet. Take money for the things you do and begin doing things you can take money for. NOW! THIS WEEK! Urgently! You'll like it!
One more thing--and it's none of my business--but then it is, because these things are LINKED to each other: You need to get laid! Maybe that's a tad too personal, but trust me, our income situation and our sex life have more in common than our parents and school teachers wanted to admit. Start reading David DeAngelo's newsletter (http://doubleyourdating.com/). It's free. And no, not even if you purchase his materials will I get a commission. It's so sad, but I won't—unfortunately.
Last thing: Are you doing anything physical for and with your body? It doesn't matter what you do, but you got to do something. I cannot be happy or sufficiently productive without DAILY (six days a week at least) physical exercise. Mentally, emotionally, and physically I need to DO something--and if it's just a long walk. Your pooch needs exercise seven days a week, but we think three days a week are good enough for human beings. Say what?!
Do yoga, martial arts, Tai Chi, weight lifting, anything, or best of all, begin Matthew Furey's “Combat Conditioning” (http://mattfurey.com/). Personally, I hate Matt's sales pitch, but his material is worth its weight in gold. Buy Combat Conditioning and nothing else for now, and something amazing will happen to your emotional and mental makeup as well as to your body. You can do it in the tiniest hotel room or in the forest. Again, I don't get a commission if you buy Matt's stuff, boohoo.
Take CASH for the things you do, in fact take LOTS OF IT. If you do your stuff for free, “for the betterment of the world”, you are just another self-serving hypocrite and asshole. Hordes of fake followers may believe your humble schtick and the pope may steal your popularity by forcing you into sainthood after you are dead, but I know what a creep you probably are: People who pretend to do everything for free are creeps and dishonest. Just like everybody else, they do NOTHING for free. They get something out of it that they don't care to disclose publicly. They feel good and even better than others!
Saints have dark sides and that includes Mother F. Teresa. And your dark side maybe the most important commodity you own to develop a satisfying productivity. Taking money for your services is as INNOCENT as a baby's freshly powdered ass. Being meek and pious, not taking cash and thinking smugly, “I'm so much better than the rich who make and take money for everything,” has fascist elements that are dirtier than money ever will be.
Heal your damn self and the world by making money for yourself, hand over fist. How's that for a change?
Good luck, Egbert
P.S.: Note: I am giving you this valuable--and free--information because I am such a creep, just to make myself feel good about myself. But then, my ancestors were the nastiest genocidal fascists on earth ...
Here's my—slightly altered—response. This gentleman's favorite activity happens to be watch repair. It doesn't matter. Yours will be something else, but my answer would be the same had you asked me similar questions. Throughout my material and throughout the years, I have made sure to be redundant about the fact that I cannot and will not give advice. Please DO NOT take my "answer" as advice. I am confident you will take full responsibility for all actions you take--and for the ones you won't take. In other words, what you do in the future is based on your decisions, of course, and not on my stuff.
"What do you tell a person who KNOWS what needs to be done and just won't do it?"
Nothing.
We need to figure out our individual "moving speed", and I vehemently disagree with you that you have "wasted the first 34 years of [your] life." Your first 34 years were important. Maybe not to get things done, but that won't count in the end anyway. You needed to discover what you don't want and apparently you found out what you do want: watch repair. Your last 34 years were extremely valuable, as most people NEVER find out what they want. They allow themselves to be distracted their entire lives by the garbage they don't want, like jobs for example. You are--as bleak as it may look at times--in a privileged position. You know what you want to do.
Do you, really?
I am playing the devil's advocate. So, forgive my nasty question. Here's what I mean: you are pissed off about not getting ahead with your dreams. THAT is the energy you need to utilize. You being upset or frustrated about your last 34 years is pure URGENCY for you to do what you haven't done. "Sometimes I wish I could just give up all emotions--like a Vulcan--and live my life as it is right now." Give up all emotions? No, USE them! Indeed, you are sitting on a Volcano. We all do. You want to waste the steam, the pressure, and curl up in a corner and die? Tap the immense power of YOUR Volcano and funnel it into what you want to DO. If it's watch repair, fine. If you find out it's not at all watches in a couple of weeks, that's alright also. It got to be something that can handle the unbearable pressure and urgency you will be doing things with from now on. You hear me?
URGENCY!
Your emotions aren't to be neglected nor thrown away for nothing: You must translate your emotional Volcano into the urgency you are longing for, and you will begin doing a bunch of things you haven't done yet.
"Will I become one of those old people living in poverty? These are my fears. "The fear of living in poverty may never leave you: Plenty of millionaires are scared throughout their entire lives that they may end up dying in poverty. Well, lots of people do die poor, but you better get used to the fact that some of your idiosyncrasies or quirks maybe part of you and they won't go away no matter how much money you have and make. You can't wait until the fear--any fear or emotional condition--stops before you act. Neither can you make enough money, so that fears and emotions quit bugging you.
You "chose" to pursue watch repair. Bull! Maybe that is a great idea for a hobby, but it may not be what you really want to do. You need to find out. I don't "choose" to pick my nose. I pick it!
You say, "Everything I've ever done in my life, came back to wanting to collect watches. I realized last year that if watches are my love I might as well make that my career." "Wanting" to collect watches? Did you collect watches? And if collecting watches is your love that does NOT mean repairing them will be. "... I might as well ..." Forgive me, but that is the most lame excuse for "love" or for a professional choice I have ever heard. I am not surprised you don't start or you don't get further into it. I'm surprised you didn't fall asleep while writing your e-mail to me.
DO WHAT YOU CAN'T NOT DO.
Forget love (I want to do what I love to do). Yesterday, two murder cases made the headlines on yahoo news: Guy shoots his wife and his two children, and another guy butchers his pregnant girlfriend. And don't forget the preacher's wife blasting her sleeping husband in the back with a shotgun. Most murder victims have had a loving relationship with their killer. Marriage is supposed to end with death. Well, if all goes as desired, that is. “Until death do you apart”, remember? And lots of marriages begin with love. Love, my dear friend, is not at all free of risk.
And if you really love watch repair so much that you can't help but doing it against everybody's advice and better judgment, then you may be on the right track. May that lead to doom or to success, you shouldn't care. But that is not--as I understand--your relationship with watch repair, or is it? It's lukewarm, a typical relationship, like government employment, a slob job. It's predictable, boring, and predictably bad. And in your case even more costly than profitable.
What pisses you off so, that you can't stop thinking/talking/ranting about it for hours/days/years at a time? Love is heavily overrated! “Love what you do and the money will follow,” is so 20th century and utter nonsense. Wussy and--god forbid--pussy talk. Even if you do what you “love”, you'll always have to do plenty of things you hate ... preparing income taxes, for instance. “I want to do what I love,” makes me throw up.
Anger or frustration are fabulous money makers. Give your HATRED a try. For instance, Mr. Gillette was so pissed off about his clunky shaving equipment--he traveled as a salesman--that he invented a disposable shaver. He sold all of six or eight shavers in the first year. Not encouraging, but "his Volcano", the fire in his belly, didn't allow him to stop. History proved him right, as you know. More examples? MADD (mothers against drunk driving) begun with a pissed off and terribly wounded mother. I can't stand MADD's politics. Nevertheless, it exemplifies my point of starting something powerful with uncomfortable, so-called "negative", emotions. Cindy Sheehan: same thing. I don't like her and I do NOT endorse her nor her message, but that's how it can be done. PETA (people for the ethical treatment of animals), etc., etc..
Money: MAKE MONEY. I admire your wizardry of getting by on peanuts but man, start using that brilliant head of yours and make an extra $50 this upcoming week. When you can do that every week, raise it to $100 extra weekly. If you have no idea at all, sell something on ebay.com to supplement your income, but do shake up your tired wallet. Take money for the things you do and begin doing things you can take money for. NOW! THIS WEEK! Urgently! You'll like it!
One more thing--and it's none of my business--but then it is, because these things are LINKED to each other: You need to get laid! Maybe that's a tad too personal, but trust me, our income situation and our sex life have more in common than our parents and school teachers wanted to admit. Start reading David DeAngelo's newsletter (http://doubleyourdating.com/). It's free. And no, not even if you purchase his materials will I get a commission. It's so sad, but I won't—unfortunately.
Last thing: Are you doing anything physical for and with your body? It doesn't matter what you do, but you got to do something. I cannot be happy or sufficiently productive without DAILY (six days a week at least) physical exercise. Mentally, emotionally, and physically I need to DO something--and if it's just a long walk. Your pooch needs exercise seven days a week, but we think three days a week are good enough for human beings. Say what?!
Do yoga, martial arts, Tai Chi, weight lifting, anything, or best of all, begin Matthew Furey's “Combat Conditioning” (http://mattfurey.com/). Personally, I hate Matt's sales pitch, but his material is worth its weight in gold. Buy Combat Conditioning and nothing else for now, and something amazing will happen to your emotional and mental makeup as well as to your body. You can do it in the tiniest hotel room or in the forest. Again, I don't get a commission if you buy Matt's stuff, boohoo.
Take CASH for the things you do, in fact take LOTS OF IT. If you do your stuff for free, “for the betterment of the world”, you are just another self-serving hypocrite and asshole. Hordes of fake followers may believe your humble schtick and the pope may steal your popularity by forcing you into sainthood after you are dead, but I know what a creep you probably are: People who pretend to do everything for free are creeps and dishonest. Just like everybody else, they do NOTHING for free. They get something out of it that they don't care to disclose publicly. They feel good and even better than others!
Saints have dark sides and that includes Mother F. Teresa. And your dark side maybe the most important commodity you own to develop a satisfying productivity. Taking money for your services is as INNOCENT as a baby's freshly powdered ass. Being meek and pious, not taking cash and thinking smugly, “I'm so much better than the rich who make and take money for everything,” has fascist elements that are dirtier than money ever will be.
Heal your damn self and the world by making money for yourself, hand over fist. How's that for a change?
Good luck, Egbert
P.S.: Note: I am giving you this valuable--and free--information because I am such a creep, just to make myself feel good about myself. But then, my ancestors were the nastiest genocidal fascists on earth ...
Sunday, May 13, 2007
corrupt retirement
Retirement is the opposite of independence. You don't enjoy your job too much? Since jobs occupy most waking hours of our day, it's relatively safe to say that people who look forward to retirement don't just despise their jobs. They hate their lives. And if you hate your life, it is no surprise that you are dreaming of and planning for your retirement to gain independence.
Independence, however, is NOT the engine driving you towards that goal, unfortunately. Your hatred is. Loathing what you do currently gives you the idea of retirement. Not only that, add a decent portion of self-loathing. Why? You may despise your job, but you hate yourself much more for being so corrupt that you can't let go of your job, because you'd lose all the benefits you have accumulated with your impressive seniority. You gave permission to be bought into corruption and out of the independence you once possessed. True independence lies in your past and naturally: you want it back. Now you're thinking about the conditions you may be able to purchase independence with, called retirement plan.
Retirement maybe a situation you desire to achieve, but it's burdened with too many ifs and whens that you can hardly call it independence. Most people's retirement doesn't look like their golden age at all, and why would it? If you insist on calling it freedom, that freedom is flawed and fraught with more conditions and limitations than you would like to experience. Retirement as an equivalent of independence is a fraud. No wonder you hate corrupt people so much. You are one of them--if questionable benefits entice you to aim for retirement instead of establishing and living your independence today and tomorrow.
No, don't quit your job! Keep it. You deserve each other and the inner turmoil that comes with it. But if it's independence you want, you better quit waiting for retirement:
Do What You Want ... and more of it, EVERY DAMNED DAY. If you “can't”, shut up and grind your teeth some more. Perhaps retirement will save you from yourself.
Egbert
Independence, however, is NOT the engine driving you towards that goal, unfortunately. Your hatred is. Loathing what you do currently gives you the idea of retirement. Not only that, add a decent portion of self-loathing. Why? You may despise your job, but you hate yourself much more for being so corrupt that you can't let go of your job, because you'd lose all the benefits you have accumulated with your impressive seniority. You gave permission to be bought into corruption and out of the independence you once possessed. True independence lies in your past and naturally: you want it back. Now you're thinking about the conditions you may be able to purchase independence with, called retirement plan.
Retirement maybe a situation you desire to achieve, but it's burdened with too many ifs and whens that you can hardly call it independence. Most people's retirement doesn't look like their golden age at all, and why would it? If you insist on calling it freedom, that freedom is flawed and fraught with more conditions and limitations than you would like to experience. Retirement as an equivalent of independence is a fraud. No wonder you hate corrupt people so much. You are one of them--if questionable benefits entice you to aim for retirement instead of establishing and living your independence today and tomorrow.
No, don't quit your job! Keep it. You deserve each other and the inner turmoil that comes with it. But if it's independence you want, you better quit waiting for retirement:
Do What You Want ... and more of it, EVERY DAMNED DAY. If you “can't”, shut up and grind your teeth some more. Perhaps retirement will save you from yourself.
Egbert
Thursday, March 29, 2007
modern laziness
Risk is a four letter word. Risky driving is quite popular. People are yakking away at their cell phones without paying attention to anybody else's interest of simply staying alive. Today, a cop almost rammed me because he was so busy doing important work on his computer while swerving into my lane. Had he killed me, I'm sure it would have been my fault. Any idiot takes risks daily, powerful enough to cause the death of half a dozen people, but the majority of us is afraid, very afraid, to live as we please.
We risk our lives every day in traffic. We shun the risk to live a life that's worth living. No way we would risk to be happy. Benefits have corrupted our senses. We have settled for 40 years of time released suicide. As long as we can make ourselves believe that our jobs are safe, there's no problem murdering our potential for a life in mediocrity and misery. Now, that is true laziness.
Modern laziness doesn't equal couch potato. Modern laziness is an active lifestyle sheltered by an employer who does the dirty work for us. Dirty, as in being responsible for soliciting new business, negotiating prices, and making money. Employees, kept safe and innocent with wage or salary, mistake receiving a paycheck for making money. A job is the lazy person's way of “making” money. Somebody else is really making it and passing a small portion on to you. Of course, it'll never be as much as you'd like to see. Having a job is like wearing a rubber to protect ourselves from contact with real money: risk appears to be contained and naturally, your fun is limited also.
Change it! Make money yourself, for the time being PARALLEL to your current job. Take initiative and offer your service or product to other people. If you don't quit your job, it's not even such a risk—just an increase of fun and profit. Too much effort? Right. As I said: laziness.
The hardest working employee is too damn lazy to do something for herself. No wonder, employees are unhappy. Our priorities are messed up. Health and fitness? Oh my God, that comes first. Education is crucial. Good and warped parents we are, we teach our children how to hate life also, and then we pretend to be bewildered when we discover their developing drug habit. We save up money, so that our brats may go to better colleges, ending up on better jobs, hating them better than we ever did. We desire for our children to screw up their lives more comfortably, with a fatter nest egg. We want them to be neat and healthy idiots with nice husbands and good jobs. Insane.
Granted, it can be a difficult task to discover and establish a business, sufficient and stable enough to replace your job with all its benefits. I understand. Hence, my suggestion: take it easy. You don't have the perfect job. So, why trying to find the perfect business? Since you don't give up your job safety, you can enjoy the luxury of abandoning perfectionism. PLAYFULLY, try out something that catches your interest and has the potential to make an additional buck this week or next month.
If you must, sell something on eBay you want to get rid of. It's alright to supplement your income that way for awhile and it's a start, but NO, No, no: I do not want you to become a professional eBay seller, another network marketing clone, or franchisee. That would leave you as empty and drained as the regular job does.
Strengthening and expressing your individual freedom while making money is our objective here. This is not about other people's shady money making opportunities. It's about you and you alone. Your interests and your ability are key. What is your passion? What is so special about you that you can use to SHOCK the world into business with you? How much longer can you hold yourself back?
Explode onto the market. It's easier than you think.
Egbert
We risk our lives every day in traffic. We shun the risk to live a life that's worth living. No way we would risk to be happy. Benefits have corrupted our senses. We have settled for 40 years of time released suicide. As long as we can make ourselves believe that our jobs are safe, there's no problem murdering our potential for a life in mediocrity and misery. Now, that is true laziness.
Modern laziness doesn't equal couch potato. Modern laziness is an active lifestyle sheltered by an employer who does the dirty work for us. Dirty, as in being responsible for soliciting new business, negotiating prices, and making money. Employees, kept safe and innocent with wage or salary, mistake receiving a paycheck for making money. A job is the lazy person's way of “making” money. Somebody else is really making it and passing a small portion on to you. Of course, it'll never be as much as you'd like to see. Having a job is like wearing a rubber to protect ourselves from contact with real money: risk appears to be contained and naturally, your fun is limited also.
Change it! Make money yourself, for the time being PARALLEL to your current job. Take initiative and offer your service or product to other people. If you don't quit your job, it's not even such a risk—just an increase of fun and profit. Too much effort? Right. As I said: laziness.
The hardest working employee is too damn lazy to do something for herself. No wonder, employees are unhappy. Our priorities are messed up. Health and fitness? Oh my God, that comes first. Education is crucial. Good and warped parents we are, we teach our children how to hate life also, and then we pretend to be bewildered when we discover their developing drug habit. We save up money, so that our brats may go to better colleges, ending up on better jobs, hating them better than we ever did. We desire for our children to screw up their lives more comfortably, with a fatter nest egg. We want them to be neat and healthy idiots with nice husbands and good jobs. Insane.
Granted, it can be a difficult task to discover and establish a business, sufficient and stable enough to replace your job with all its benefits. I understand. Hence, my suggestion: take it easy. You don't have the perfect job. So, why trying to find the perfect business? Since you don't give up your job safety, you can enjoy the luxury of abandoning perfectionism. PLAYFULLY, try out something that catches your interest and has the potential to make an additional buck this week or next month.
If you must, sell something on eBay you want to get rid of. It's alright to supplement your income that way for awhile and it's a start, but NO, No, no: I do not want you to become a professional eBay seller, another network marketing clone, or franchisee. That would leave you as empty and drained as the regular job does.
Strengthening and expressing your individual freedom while making money is our objective here. This is not about other people's shady money making opportunities. It's about you and you alone. Your interests and your ability are key. What is your passion? What is so special about you that you can use to SHOCK the world into business with you? How much longer can you hold yourself back?
Explode onto the market. It's easier than you think.
Egbert
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
hard work
Efficiency is more important than how hard one works. Really? As proud as so many of us appear to be about our hard work, I am not that sure anymore what counts. People love to make their money with hard work. What is the true value of hard work and where did the idea originate?
Genesis 2, 17 – 19: Adam got his sorry ass kicked out of Paradise. He was condemned to hard work for life. Why? Because he listened to his wife too much. Hard work is the ultimate punishment for those who give somebody else's opinion weight and value, while neglecting their own better judgment. Hard work is the dumbass treatment for mediocrity. Actually, mediocrity and hard work resemble the chicken and egg syndrome. No one knows for sure what came first. We do know hard work struggles to compensate for mediocrity, and the result of hard work will always be mediocre at best.
Remember high school? Your mediocre classmates were working the hardest. Your loser colleagues and the best performers didn't seem to work all that much. Being terrible in school requires nothing, and the best didn't have to work because things were falling into their laps, or so it looked. The top people were busy, perhaps, but they were also relaxed and had reserves.
Serious hard work has no room for relaxation. It's nothing to be proud of. The harder you work, the tighter you become and the closer you are inching up to the brink of failure. Success is a rare and random result of a hard-working person and by definition extremely temporary. It is simple, when you work hard you are operating near your limitations. There is not much room for improvement and expansion, and sooner or later someone will surpass you. Hard work traps you in the status quo.
Parental approval may have been the first questionable gain motivating you at a young age to buy into that cute yet futile ideology. In the adult world, no one cares for hard work. Markets don't reward it. The hardest working people in any society are the poorest and it has always been that way. Socialist societies are no exception. You work hard, you lose. You are out of breath, you can't win, you won't be happy. Not even money approves of your daily grind.
Did I say you should do nothing, instead? Not that I recall. The alternative to hard work is not some sort of catatonic state. Being active and busy is more fun than laziness. Indeed, it is impossible to do absolutely nothing, unless you are dead of course. Whether you like it or not, whether you're consciously aware of it or not matters little: you are active 24/7, even in your sleep.
Some activities feel like work, while others feel like fun. Interestingly, what's perceived to be hard work for you may be someone else's recreational enjoyment. How so? The average car mechanic whines about his hard job, but you can find an architect somewhere or a lawyer who spends every free minute under his vintage Jaguar. I know commercial airline pilots who seem to be working pretty hard, but when they come home their idea of relaxing means flying experimental aircraft. These guys may be working a lot, certainly not hard. No motivation needed to get them to work. Incentives? That type of B.S. is reserved for people who hate what they do and who beg to be dragged through life like dead rats.
What gets your juices flowing? Think Lance Armstrong. Riding a bicycle hundred miles per day, almost every single day of the year, years and years in a row, looks like an exhausting task to me. For Mr. Armstrong it meant life. What do you do when you find yourself in “the zone”? What sort of activity does not feel like work for you at all, and others are surprised how you can keep at it for so long without taking a break?
It is your work to find the work that is no work. That will make you efficient.
Screw hard work,
Egbert
Genesis 2, 17 – 19: Adam got his sorry ass kicked out of Paradise. He was condemned to hard work for life. Why? Because he listened to his wife too much. Hard work is the ultimate punishment for those who give somebody else's opinion weight and value, while neglecting their own better judgment. Hard work is the dumbass treatment for mediocrity. Actually, mediocrity and hard work resemble the chicken and egg syndrome. No one knows for sure what came first. We do know hard work struggles to compensate for mediocrity, and the result of hard work will always be mediocre at best.
Remember high school? Your mediocre classmates were working the hardest. Your loser colleagues and the best performers didn't seem to work all that much. Being terrible in school requires nothing, and the best didn't have to work because things were falling into their laps, or so it looked. The top people were busy, perhaps, but they were also relaxed and had reserves.
Serious hard work has no room for relaxation. It's nothing to be proud of. The harder you work, the tighter you become and the closer you are inching up to the brink of failure. Success is a rare and random result of a hard-working person and by definition extremely temporary. It is simple, when you work hard you are operating near your limitations. There is not much room for improvement and expansion, and sooner or later someone will surpass you. Hard work traps you in the status quo.
Parental approval may have been the first questionable gain motivating you at a young age to buy into that cute yet futile ideology. In the adult world, no one cares for hard work. Markets don't reward it. The hardest working people in any society are the poorest and it has always been that way. Socialist societies are no exception. You work hard, you lose. You are out of breath, you can't win, you won't be happy. Not even money approves of your daily grind.
Did I say you should do nothing, instead? Not that I recall. The alternative to hard work is not some sort of catatonic state. Being active and busy is more fun than laziness. Indeed, it is impossible to do absolutely nothing, unless you are dead of course. Whether you like it or not, whether you're consciously aware of it or not matters little: you are active 24/7, even in your sleep.
Some activities feel like work, while others feel like fun. Interestingly, what's perceived to be hard work for you may be someone else's recreational enjoyment. How so? The average car mechanic whines about his hard job, but you can find an architect somewhere or a lawyer who spends every free minute under his vintage Jaguar. I know commercial airline pilots who seem to be working pretty hard, but when they come home their idea of relaxing means flying experimental aircraft. These guys may be working a lot, certainly not hard. No motivation needed to get them to work. Incentives? That type of B.S. is reserved for people who hate what they do and who beg to be dragged through life like dead rats.
What gets your juices flowing? Think Lance Armstrong. Riding a bicycle hundred miles per day, almost every single day of the year, years and years in a row, looks like an exhausting task to me. For Mr. Armstrong it meant life. What do you do when you find yourself in “the zone”? What sort of activity does not feel like work for you at all, and others are surprised how you can keep at it for so long without taking a break?
It is your work to find the work that is no work. That will make you efficient.
Screw hard work,
Egbert
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
matter and mind
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than by the things you did.” --Mark Twain
Imagine all you want: write down your goals. Wish, hope, desire. If you don't DO something about it, nothing is going to happen. Your mind won't move the chair under your keister. You do stuff physically and things start moving. Without your body there is no mind. “Mind over matter” is an insult to anyone's intelligence.
Move it!
Granted, your mind is a brilliant tool and I don't recommend you lose it. Still, just as computer simulations can't predict reality precisely when the input is lacking a variable or two, our minds cannot foresee the future. You mind can't predict if you will enjoy pistachio ice cream if you have never tried it. You don't know the list of ingredients, and even if you did, you'd have to taste it. All theory ends here. Your taste buds like it or they don't. Basta!
Mind depends on the body, matter, all day long. You get a toothache and the reliability of your mind's output is even more questionable than usual. We are making mistakes because mind does not control matter well. Welcome and embrace your mistakes. They show you more clearly than your thoughts which way you do not want to go next.
We must do regrettable things. We need to engage in wrong activities to find what we prefer to do. “Do the right thing,” is the number one jackass theory of schoolteachers. First of all, teachers are scared out of their wits to do anything for real: that's why they chose to become teachers. It's safer to lecture others with worthless hearsay than to get your own feet wet or to collect serious dirt under your fingernails.
Nobody knows what “the right thing” actually is until you do it. Hell, Japanese kamikaze pilots of World War II staunchly believed they were doing the right thing for their immortal Tenno and to make their daddies proud. The minds of kamikazes—lots of them were extremely bright and well educated—could not figure it out in advance. Even the most brilliant dumbass has to actively do the regrettable. Matter comes first.
If we were capable of outsmarting matter, we could and would develop systems to beat the stock and futures markets. So far, we haven't come up with ANY money making system, ironclad or otherwise. The mind can't even produce a no-brainer. Long ago sports betting, horse races, and card games would have become serious income sources for the mindful masses. Alas, reality—damn matter, if you will—does not behave the way we think it should.
Agreed, I can make up my mind and visit the grocery store or found a company. But if the body doesn't make a move to get things rolling, the mind is powerless amidst its glorious ideas. Remember when you bought your last car? Did your mind decide which kind and what color? Be honest: most likely, your body moved towards The One—your mind may have made a slight adjustment—but your body steered in the general direction and you “knew” all of a sudden which one it would be. Your spouse couldn't move you, neither could your mind.
With a measurable delay, your mind was struggling to come up with the proper reasoning why you did what you did. Buyer's remorse wouldn't exist if it wasn't for the weakness of the mind compared with forceful matter. To prevent buyer's remorse and to protect ourselves from looking stupid when we have to justify our purchase decision in front of family including brother-in-law, we employ the mind to connect the dots. THEN we claim to have made a rational choice. Our mind proudly announces that the check writing movement of our hand was premeditated and explicitly ordered to be executed by body and matter.
Mind over matter? Cute! I know plenty of investors who can't follow their own exit strategy they patronize and pester others with.
Do more regrettable things. Try stuff. Keep that body moving, and you'll discover more of what you don't like and more of what it is you do want. Expecting a 19-year-old to predict whether she'll enjoy being a lawyer is insane. She'll has to find out by going in that direction. Change directions frequently. Charge forcefully further into the direction you have been going lately. But move, move, DO something, anything. Doubtlessly, you'll regret a few things you do. Myriads of ideas your mind comes up with that remain UNDONE are even more regrettable.
Don't mind your mind. Do what matters to you, move freely and expand your sphere of operation. Your mind will flex its muscles accordingly.
Egbert
Imagine all you want: write down your goals. Wish, hope, desire. If you don't DO something about it, nothing is going to happen. Your mind won't move the chair under your keister. You do stuff physically and things start moving. Without your body there is no mind. “Mind over matter” is an insult to anyone's intelligence.
Move it!
Granted, your mind is a brilliant tool and I don't recommend you lose it. Still, just as computer simulations can't predict reality precisely when the input is lacking a variable or two, our minds cannot foresee the future. You mind can't predict if you will enjoy pistachio ice cream if you have never tried it. You don't know the list of ingredients, and even if you did, you'd have to taste it. All theory ends here. Your taste buds like it or they don't. Basta!
Mind depends on the body, matter, all day long. You get a toothache and the reliability of your mind's output is even more questionable than usual. We are making mistakes because mind does not control matter well. Welcome and embrace your mistakes. They show you more clearly than your thoughts which way you do not want to go next.
We must do regrettable things. We need to engage in wrong activities to find what we prefer to do. “Do the right thing,” is the number one jackass theory of schoolteachers. First of all, teachers are scared out of their wits to do anything for real: that's why they chose to become teachers. It's safer to lecture others with worthless hearsay than to get your own feet wet or to collect serious dirt under your fingernails.
Nobody knows what “the right thing” actually is until you do it. Hell, Japanese kamikaze pilots of World War II staunchly believed they were doing the right thing for their immortal Tenno and to make their daddies proud. The minds of kamikazes—lots of them were extremely bright and well educated—could not figure it out in advance. Even the most brilliant dumbass has to actively do the regrettable. Matter comes first.
If we were capable of outsmarting matter, we could and would develop systems to beat the stock and futures markets. So far, we haven't come up with ANY money making system, ironclad or otherwise. The mind can't even produce a no-brainer. Long ago sports betting, horse races, and card games would have become serious income sources for the mindful masses. Alas, reality—damn matter, if you will—does not behave the way we think it should.
Agreed, I can make up my mind and visit the grocery store or found a company. But if the body doesn't make a move to get things rolling, the mind is powerless amidst its glorious ideas. Remember when you bought your last car? Did your mind decide which kind and what color? Be honest: most likely, your body moved towards The One—your mind may have made a slight adjustment—but your body steered in the general direction and you “knew” all of a sudden which one it would be. Your spouse couldn't move you, neither could your mind.
With a measurable delay, your mind was struggling to come up with the proper reasoning why you did what you did. Buyer's remorse wouldn't exist if it wasn't for the weakness of the mind compared with forceful matter. To prevent buyer's remorse and to protect ourselves from looking stupid when we have to justify our purchase decision in front of family including brother-in-law, we employ the mind to connect the dots. THEN we claim to have made a rational choice. Our mind proudly announces that the check writing movement of our hand was premeditated and explicitly ordered to be executed by body and matter.
Mind over matter? Cute! I know plenty of investors who can't follow their own exit strategy they patronize and pester others with.
Do more regrettable things. Try stuff. Keep that body moving, and you'll discover more of what you don't like and more of what it is you do want. Expecting a 19-year-old to predict whether she'll enjoy being a lawyer is insane. She'll has to find out by going in that direction. Change directions frequently. Charge forcefully further into the direction you have been going lately. But move, move, DO something, anything. Doubtlessly, you'll regret a few things you do. Myriads of ideas your mind comes up with that remain UNDONE are even more regrettable.
Don't mind your mind. Do what matters to you, move freely and expand your sphere of operation. Your mind will flex its muscles accordingly.
Egbert
Thursday, March 22, 2007
inhibited love
My friend Cheryl sent me the following story:
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
Sex is not unlike work: people hate it. Yeah I know, we don't hate sex per se, but talk to the gynecologist of your choice and she'll tell you how frustrated women are with their sex lives or the lack thereof. Talk to the average guy and you'll hear a similar response from the husbands of these complaining women. As frustrated as the girls are, as bored and dissatisfied are their faithful husbands. And both parties hate their jobs. No, there is no connection between love life and work life, or is there?
People don't hate their spouses and my wild guess is, we don't really hate our jobs either: what we really really hate beyond anything else are our inhibitions. As in the joke above, we spend years and decades choosing between spoons and buckets, but we're scared shitless to pull the plug. Yep, that's "normal" and equally insane in people's sex lives and at work.
So many guys are afraid to tell the missus flat out what they desire sexually. Chicks want their men to be psychics and mind readers who figure out nonverbally what is expected of them. And? ... Nothing exciting or pleasurable happens for a long time. How surprising!
Confining ourselves to fabulous cubicle careers, we don't even have the balls to tell OURSELVES what we want to do with our lives or what we once dreamed of. Instead, tolerant domesticated dumbasses that we are, we dutifully hate our jobs and we're looking forward to the upcoming weekend and to early retirement—decade after decade. Duh.
Truth is, we defend our inhibitions as religiously as we despise them.
I'll give you a choice: enjoy my condolences or pull the damned plug.
Egbert
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
Sex is not unlike work: people hate it. Yeah I know, we don't hate sex per se, but talk to the gynecologist of your choice and she'll tell you how frustrated women are with their sex lives or the lack thereof. Talk to the average guy and you'll hear a similar response from the husbands of these complaining women. As frustrated as the girls are, as bored and dissatisfied are their faithful husbands. And both parties hate their jobs. No, there is no connection between love life and work life, or is there?
People don't hate their spouses and my wild guess is, we don't really hate our jobs either: what we really really hate beyond anything else are our inhibitions. As in the joke above, we spend years and decades choosing between spoons and buckets, but we're scared shitless to pull the plug. Yep, that's "normal" and equally insane in people's sex lives and at work.
So many guys are afraid to tell the missus flat out what they desire sexually. Chicks want their men to be psychics and mind readers who figure out nonverbally what is expected of them. And? ... Nothing exciting or pleasurable happens for a long time. How surprising!
Confining ourselves to fabulous cubicle careers, we don't even have the balls to tell OURSELVES what we want to do with our lives or what we once dreamed of. Instead, tolerant domesticated dumbasses that we are, we dutifully hate our jobs and we're looking forward to the upcoming weekend and to early retirement—decade after decade. Duh.
Truth is, we defend our inhibitions as religiously as we despise them.
I'll give you a choice: enjoy my condolences or pull the damned plug.
Egbert
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