Taking credit for winning and blaming ourselves for losing are sure signs of lacking self-confidence. When we use a winning incident to build ourselves up and we tear ourselves down because of a loss, our sense of reality is impaired.
Both winning and losing occur naturally in everybody's life. Often it is a matter of perspective, whether we have won or lost. While we are winning at the stock market, somebody else loses. In this case, losing and winning happen simultaneously. Pretty stupid if the “winner” takes credit for the fortunate turn out and the “loser” blames herself for the loss. The following day—at times just minutes later—the roles may be reversed. Let's say winning and losing “happen” if you are an active person, and you cannot control any particular outcome beyond a certain degree. Larry Ellison, the CEO of Oracle, wins or loses sums of a billion dollars or two on an average trading day. I'm sure he likes winning better, yet I don't believe one or the other affects is self-confidence or his decision-making much.
Of course, you must have an eye on the pulse of the markets. But you are doomed if you take factually and emotionally credit for winning situations and if you beat yourself or your people into the ground because of a loss.
If—and only IF—you are active and you try new things and new approaches, will you experience wins and losses. The less you fear losses, the better. Maybe 95% of your ideas will bomb and only 5% have a chance to survive. Realistically, only one or two percent of your attempts are truly grand and only 1% may thrive. That will be plenty for you to call yourself successful and to live happily ever after.
If you don't try anything or you think it got to be sufficient to shoot off three or even ten ideas, you are trying to found your confidence on some quick winning experiences. Confidence based on winning is deceptive and short-lived. It won't work for you, and unless you're the luckiest dumbass in your town, a dozen ideas will just sink your ship. You must produce a hundred ideas at least, and another hundred, and then some to taste continued success. You need to get excited about losing to make it somewhere, like Mister Lightbulb Edison himself.
Any idiot can win with confidence. Losing with confidence gets you places. Yes dear, be happy when you are winning AND when you are losing!
Egbert
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1 comment:
Egbert, even though I’d rather be the luckiest dumbass in town it’s good to know that both winning and losing occur naturally.
If roughly one out of 100 attempts strike gold then we’d better get on with life and step up our mistake-making. I kind of like the attitude of being exciting about my failures. I guess that old sales manager was right when he said each no got us closer to a yes.
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