what scares you the most?

"What scares you the most? What do you run up against when you entertain the thought of creating a happier work life? What circumstance, belief or fear has caused you to settle for less than you could enjoy?" ... asks my friend Tom on his blog (http://www.delightfulwork.com/)

A legitimate question!

Who of us would actually get a job if it wasn't for the demons we'd have to face while pursuing bliss and happiness? We do what we don't want to do because we think we have to. Gullible creatures we are, we believe misery is the currency to pay rent or to make our mortgage payments with. No self-torture, no food on the table. We think S/M in bed is crazy but a sado-masochistic work life is normal.

We believe in science, we believe in higher education, and we believe in our favorite myths. The idea that suffering is the best way to make money is one of those myths. And we don't use precious cubicle time to make other people's lives easier, do we? Oh no, if we have to experience pain, so will "they". And we distribute pain with the best intentions: "no pain, no gain." Myth number two. The more I hurt you, the better it'll be for you! We even make sure our children will have plenty of pain in their lives, 'cause we desire for them to have plenty of gain, eventually. Since we wish for our children to gain more than we ever have, they will--nolens volens--also have to put up with more pain from us. They may not appreciate it now, but increasing pain in their lives prepares them for a hard reality and anyway, it's how we express our deepest love for them. Yes, we are good people.

Good God, the stinking bladder of your pooch is smarter than that! Back to Tom and his idea of promoting luscious and thrilling work. Here are some thoughts his unusual yet most important questions tickled out of me:

“Luscious and thrilling work?”

Tom, are you nuts? That's not exactly what God cursed Adam with when he kicked his sorry apple noshing ass out of paradise: “Because you listened to your wife: Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food.” --Genesis 3, 17-19

Thanks! Yeah, thank you so much! Leading a messed up work life like good ol' doormat Adam and Sisyphus is alright if you listen to your wife, to your loving husband, to cousin Clara, or to your know-it-all brother-in-law Hugo. If you don't listen to anybody but to your own gut, you do have a choice: painful toil or rather something more delightful—what's it going to be?

'Doing what I want to do' is the most scary enterprise of all because it's so utterly selfish. Where is the sacrifice in that? Exactly: sacrifice is unnecessary humbug! Unless you find it important to please people, that is. People pleasing and being happy exclude each other. Worse: while we pretend to be so ridiculously selfless, the people we're trying to suck up to don't give a rat's behind about us, about the stuff we do, or about our noble and idiotic self-deprivation.

Nobody cares about what you do. Nobody cares how much you suffer. Nobody cares if you are happy. Do you care? We are quick to perform worthless chores but it takes the utmost discipline for most of us to do what we want to do. Before we follow up on a joyful idea we clean the toilet bowl first. Insane! Trust me, dull diligence doesn't provide valuable service to your community.

“Giving back to the community” with sacrifice and harrowing labor is the idea of fools for fools. When you're actively busy doing what you really want to do, you are at your best. And when you are at your best, your family, your clientele, and your community get the best out of you. Truth is, there is hardly anything more selfless than the most selfish thing you can think of doing. Think Tiger Woods.

Last but not least, when we're limiting joy in life our income is likely to be limited also. Being insanely happy has no limits, and money based on happiness has more potential than our in-laws can stomach.

Good luck, Tom! You're doing the finest thing you can possibly do for an individual.

Egbert