Wednesday, November 4, 2009

ecstasy in hell

"Lasciate ogni speranza voi ch'entrate!" (Abandon all hope, you who enter!) --Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy "Inferno" - Inscription at the entrance to Hell.

"There is only the dance. These things you treasure are shells." --William Gibson, Count Zero



The Job Dilemma:

I want to do what I want. But first I need to do what I don't want and make enough money, so that I can do what I want eventually. That frustrating game may keep me on my toes until I retire ... well, unless I can't retire because I may still have to do what I don't want to do when I am seventy.

Can't I just do what I love to do and make money while I'm having fun?

No, you can't!

Oh, you mean you love fishing? You turn your passion for dead stinking fish into a business. Then you'll find yourself behind the counter from 9 to 8, selling worms. On the weekends you will be busy catching up with the paper work.

You are an expert on your tacky tackle, but you'll have no time to go fishing with your buddies! That would be paradise, I understand, but I won't let you off the hook so easily. Follow your annoying passion, turn your favorite hobby into a thriving enterprise, and do what you've always wanted. Fine.

Still, it won't be what you love. You will have to file income taxes and meet with accountants. You'll spend time at your attorney's office, and you will be sued. A tiny percentage of your clientele will be so obnoxious and radically insane that it will rob you of your sleep at night and make your beloved business taste like bitterness, at times.

And that's only if you happen to be successful with your kinky entrepreneurial love affair. Should your romance with your vocation turn sour--your trusted business partner disappears in the night with the payroll that you owe your employees tomorrow; or your enterprise never gets off the ground to begin with--it'll be worse, much worse.

I mean it: you cannot do what you love. Neither can I. It doesn't exist. If you think you love something, it'll divorce you eventually in 50% of all cases. And divorce is known to be the opposite of a win-win situation ... well, except in that rare case when a clever girl plays it just right.

You don't want to engage in a lovely business venture that morphs into a clever girl. You don't want a company that is all over you like your most loyal stalker. And if the term 'reason' means anything to you, love and the rest of your emotional baggage must not have a say in your operation.

The stuff you "love" has you by the throat. You don't control love--by its very definition!

Of course you cannot control the market and how well your goods or services will perform financially. But if you lack basic powers to determine strategy and tactics of your venture, you may think you are in business but you aren't.

What about those who love what they do? They lie! For the sake of their children AND for the sake of their businesses, I hope there is a difference between the way they love their brats or their pathetic jobs.

Whether you are employed or self-employed, you are dealing with elements that aren't typically considered resources of pleasure. Take taxes, for instance. Even if you are sick enough and you love paying them, and even if the preparation of your income tax return is more exciting for you than sex, calculating that stuff gobbles up man power. If you have (wo)man hours to spare, good for you but not so good for your business.

In other words, if you "love" to waste your own or your employees' time with activities as unproductive as filing taxes, something must be wired strangely in your noodle. Taxes are just an example. You and I, we could walk through almost any office or manufacturing plant and within twenty minutes, we both could point out a dozen time or efficiency "leaks." Guaranteed.

Whoever runs such incorporated waste basket, she doesn't "love" it. Trust me. Oh, they may very well protect their habitual inconsistencies and flaws, but they don't love monetary leaks. It's easy not to love awful things. Yet the negative is only a minor reason why people don't fare well loving what they do.

Beware of the parts you do love! That is the tricky portion, able to blind you and deceive you. Love is temporary--you fall in love and you fall out of it. Bad enough for a business you happen to love currently, but worse is the fact that love has a similar potential to deprave us as truth does.

Truth and love deprive us of freedom. They shrink our options of choice. If you personally enjoy being a victim of love and of its cruel crimes: fine. But your business and your livelihood must never be at the mercy of this fickle phenomenon 'love!' It's for suckers.

The alternative:

Do what you want to do. Job or your own business, whatever. Most likely, you are already doing what you want to do, because why else are you at it?! Who cares whether you love or hate your job. It's meaningless. What does matter is that you choose what you do.

It does not matter how much you hate part X or how much you love part Y of your daily work. Both love and hatred are just emotional distractions. They are in your way, hindering you to see and decide clearly.

Extract any and every emotional charge or tension from your business. Withdraw your dumb love, cool your anger, deflate anxiety, and muster the discipline to stop worry as well as hope in their counter-productive tracks.

You don't exchange flaming and emotional correspondence with business partners or government agencies. It would be unprofessional and dangerous. Same applies internally. Your job hates to be loved. Your employees--or your superiors and your colleagues--would find it rather creepy if you passionately expressed your undying love for them all day, non?

Boredom and indifference are perfect portals for ecstasy.

Who?

Once the residue of emotional attachment to your work has been ground down to zero and you are perfectly numb--emotionally, not mentally!--you are ready for Step No. 2:

Inject ECSTASY into every minute of your (work) day!

The drug? Holy Pigflew, NO! Besides obvious legal issues and a bunch of other possible side effects, consumption of Ecstasy would be too temporary, too unpredictable, too expensive, and it would make you once more dependent. Why did you have to bring that up?!

There is no thing that has excited you in your past. No toy, no activity, no guy/girl you were into, and no sum of dough has "made you" jittery and sped up your pulse. If they did, why did that not continue indefinitely? You started it and you cut it off when you had enough. You are the master of your ecstasy.

Except, you are so damn stingy.

Here you may be as generous as you want and it won't cost you a dime. Whatever happens, whatever you do, whatever people say, whether you are fond of your status quo or not: it doesn't matter. You are ecstatic. Fun-adverse environments won't be frustrating and depressing. Hell no: that's where the joy begins. Negative surroundings are a welcome challenge and the icing on top of this adventure.

Well, if that's what you want, naturally. It may not be prudent to let others see your glossy-eyed ecstasy, especially not at work where the Zombies roam through job hell. But if ecstasy--or any stage leading up to it--is your chosen state of mind, be my guest.

That's crazy? So what. You brought up this stupid love thingy, fraught with passion for work and other cutesy road blocks. This substance, your very own ecstasy applied with a precisely measured dosage, beats your silly puppy love any day.

I love you too,

Egbert Sukop

P.S.: Ordered my damn book yet? Now is the perfect time to do it. Why? Because I said so: 'How to Better Hate Your Job' It'll kick you off your rocking chair!

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